Life.....

10/8/02

    Zzz........

    Wow.....only 6 days till my birthday.  October has been flying by....the weather just started turning chilly, but the leaves still haven't changed color yet.  On the news they said that because of the unusually hot summer, New England isn't going to see a nice display this year.  That's too bad -_-;;.....but I could've sworn they said the same thing last year.  And the year before that, too.

    Well, at least we don't need the air conditioning any more!   I've been feeling kind of "down" lately, but I'm not sure why.    It could be the cold weather, it could be that THING.  I guess it could be a lot of things.  Super Dollfie guilt?  Fuuka is my first full-size SD, and I know most collectors have several, but I find it hard to drop $600 on a doll and not feel.....spent.  Wasted ^_^;;........Guilty?  I admit that she's much prettier than I expected.  I'm glad I waited until Volks came out with the new line of standard SDs, because the old Rio needed a lot of work!  Then again, didn't a lot of the old SDs?

    Zzz.......

    X_X.....

    Some coffee would be nice......

    Hot, bittersweet coffee.....wish someone would make me some.

    But I'm perfectly capable of making my own coffee. ^_^......

    u_u.....Tomorrow's my mother's birthday and I haven't bought her anything.  I'm going to spend several hours making her favorite meal, but I should've done more.  I had plans.....I wanted to go with her to pick out some earrings that she liked ( I just can't figure out her taste) and order a cake from a bakery, but we waited too long and she had to work all weekend.  We couldn't do anything.  She says she doesn't care, but it bothers me!  She doesn't care about anything. For example, I hate to start eating dinner before everyone's seated, and she always takes her time getting to the table, washing dishes and doing things that could wait until after dinner.  Dad starts eating anyway, and Kristen sips her drink, and I call for Mom to quit messing around and come to the table before her food gets cold.   She tells us to go ahead and eat, she'll be there in a minute, but I don't want to!   I don't care what she says, it's rude! Maybe I'm crazy, but that bothers me. 

    ;_;......

    Sometimes, I wish someone would expect more from me.   Sometimes I think.....that as long as I'm "considerate" of everyone in my household and putter around being thoughtful and self-sacrificing, no one will ever care about me: the person.  And I'm not talking about them not understanding my "pain."  I would just like them to remember my age, my likes and dislikes, to actually give a rat's bum if I fail a subject or get sick or screw up at something I'm supposed to be good at.  It's always "Oh, that's okay."  Even if I were to say "Hey, bleep all of you, I'm going to hang out in my room all day and eat pizza!" no one would care.  -_-;;.......too much work to even consider me a human being, I guess.

    Then again, those times I do complain about this and people start paying serious attention to me, I feel so exposed and ashamed that I want to climb into bed and throw the covers over my head. *^_^*.....I wonder if that's a self-defeating attitude?

::end bitch session::

9/29/02

    Wow....has it really been 10 days? I think I've been updating my doll diary more frequently than this.....

    I went apple-picking this weekend ^_____^. The orchard was crowded as hell.  I was supposed to go to White Flower Farms instead, but Kristen and I decided that we had better hurry and pick some apples before the Macouns were all gone.

    Yes, Macouns are the world's greatest apples.  Because I live in Apple Country, I'm very choosy  and won't eat any  until the fall.   I can't stand the waxy, mealy apples they sell in supermarkets.  An apple has to be sweet, tart and perfectly crisp in order for me to even consider taking a bite.   You should see me in the store squishing the apple skins with my fingertips *^_^*......if it yields even a tiny bit, I won't buy it.  I don't think I've eaten an apple in a year.  Now that we've picked some....well.....I had 5 yesterday, and 3 today ^_____^;;.......We just picked Macouns and Cortlands, but I'm hoping we can go back in a few weeks and get some Fuji and Mutsu apples, too.  Hey, they're good for you!

    I got a pumpkin, too.  Pumpkins are cute n_n....

    And some pumpkin fudge that was really sweet......O_O

    I took a quiz at Emode to find out my Real Age.  They said I was 22. ^_^......not bad, just a year off, but I think they were assuming I was actually middle-aged.  I bet if I ate more vegetables I could be a teenager again! >_<

    This week's anime......G Gundam still sucks.  Allenby seems to be the only remotely likeable character in the series,but the show's budget must've run out when they got to her face. ^_^;;.......She's Badly Animated Girl!   Zoids is still boring.....I refuse to watch the hamster show.  As for the weekend shows, Inuyasha is watchable, but it still seems like typical Takahashi fare to me.  I guess it's a good escapist show, but I don't really care for it. To me, with all the "What a jerk!"--"She's so useless!" squawking over and over....it seems like a kid's show with a lot of violence and sexual innuendo.  It's still better than Ranma 1/2, though!   I'm undecided on Outlaw Star.  I'd really like to see that and Cowboy Bebop in Japanese!  I heard the Cartoon Network censored the crap out of them ^_^.....The original Gundam is....not too bad.  The other Gundam series was kind of dull, though.  I heard it was supposed to be one of the better ones, but I guess I don't like mecha shows that much.....;_;.....

    So mean........;_;.....

    I do really like Cowboy Bebop, though!  It's one of those rare shows that I like as an overall show and not because of a few characters.   Utena was like that, too, and Urusei Yatsura, though the latter did let me down a little in the end.  Those last two movies......O_o........

    Hey hey hey, what's this about Tales of Destiny 2?  I mean, the real Tales of Destiny 2 that's coming out for the PS2 in Japan in December?   There's a character in it named Judas who everyone thinks is Leon from the first game.  Well....he has the same appearance, age,  proportions and voice actor.....so....is he a Leon-zombie or something?  How odd....6_6

    Never mind...-_-;;........Tri-Ace people.

    I still don't have a PS2. I'm going to need one for Suikoden 3, and I'll be more motivated to buy one if there's more than one game for me to play!   How am I going to do this if I'm already getting Rio?  Beats me.....u_u.....

   

9/19/02

    Have any of you ever had really bad allergies? O_o.....

    Yaaaa.......well, I think I'm addicted to Advil Cold and Sinus. I only take it twice a day, but I get so excited when I'm about to take it, like the way most people feel before they dive into a huge piece of chocolate cake.  All is right in the world as long as I have some decongestants when I need them!  Must be because the asters are blooming.

    No sign of the groundhog today. Did I mention that a groundhog has decimated my plants this summer?  It moved in under my deck in early March.  It's a cub.  It's an adorable little thing, but it's been ripping my plants to shreds!  I hate it.  I'm hoping that eventually it'll get so fat it won't fit under my deck any more and will have to move somewhere else. -_-;;.......I left a bug-eaten tomato outside its hole to distract it. 

    ::curses::  Why does something so cute have to be so deadly?   I guess that screaming "Hey, eat the weeds!" at it as it chows down on my basil hasn't been helping much....;_;........

    I've been watching anime on the Cartoon Network!  Most of it is pretty bad.  G Gundam may be the worst.  The main character is hideous, and it's prejudiced against all races!  Zoids is pretty dull.  Inuyasha isn't as good as people say it is....then again, I've only watched one episode!  The original Gundam series is kind of fun.  Campy! :D I like Cowboy Bebop, but I'd like to see it in Japanese ^___^...  That Hamtaro show....uggh......I know some people think it's cute, but it's really boring! The humans have the biggest heads I've ever seen! 

    Ha ha ha.....didn't Volks make a doll of Master Asia from G Gundam?  That's starting to take on new meaning ^^;;......I still watch that show, because it's fun to laugh at.  n_n....I just wish the main character weren't so....ugly.....if the show weren't so asinine I wouldn't be thinking of this, but the only halfway attractive guy is that French guy, and his hair looks like a banana.......^o^!!

    Still, I want that Master Asia doll! ^___^

    I'm such a killjoy sometimes, I know.  You must've realized by now that I hate everything. 

    But.....one good thing that came out of last week was this olive-basil sauce I made to mix with pasta.  It was easy to make: just puree 1 cup of fresh basil, 1/3 cup olive oil, 1/2 cup pitted kalamata olives, 2 garlic cloves and a little bit of kosher salt in a food processor until smooth.  I tossed it with hot pasta, but you can use it on fish or sandwiches, pretty much anything you like.  It's good ^_____^....and cheaper than traditional pesto because you don't need the pine nuts....you can freeze it, too!

   

8/22/02

    I don't feel so good.......O_o.....

    Sorry, Kristen and I were looking at this eDiets article about people's disgusting snack ideas.  One person claimed that a kid they babysat for had a favorite snack of an entire stick of butter dipped in sugar.....eaten like a banana........that and the sandwich made out of mayo-dipped french fries slapped between two slices of pepperoni pizza......I haven't thrown up since I was in 4th grade, but I'm starting to feel queasy.......

    Does everyone have weird snack concoctions that would gross out other people?  A girl I used to work with told me her favorite drink was cola with milk--it was like an instant ice cream soda.  That grossed me out.  I know a lot of people do the peanut butter-pickle sandwich thing....that also grosses me out!   Am I really that squeamish?  I admit that I like certain ingredients that a lot of people don't like.  Like.....feta cheese.  My mother hates that stuff so much she yells at me whenever I have it in the kitchen. ^____^  I dunno, some ingredients that people hate, like anchovies, I find important seasoning agents.  I wouldn't start eating them or feta straight, but they really do add a nice saltiness to some dishes......n_n......

    Okay, a couple years ago I used to eat sandwiches made with part-skim ricotta cheese and apricot jam!  I read somewhere that it was supposed to give you a protein boost, and I liked them so much I ate one for breakfast every day ^^;........

    Speaking of which, I've noticed that whenever I eat something with jam on it I start coughing uncontrollably.  I wonder why?  Could it have something to do with the preservatives?  The sugar?

    ?_?......Hmm.......But I like jam so much......strawberry and raspberry and peach and blueberry.......

    ::slurps it from the jar::

    Oh yeah, Kristen got her copy of Japanese EP yesterday.   She was supposed to save it for her birthday, but I brow-beat her into trying it out now.  And the verdict is..........I hate Ulala's voice!  HATE!  I didn't like her English voice, either, but......ugh!  She's as bad as the "fake" Priss in Bubblegum Crash, as bad as Manta in Shaman King!  Her voice offends me to every fiber of my being!  She sounds like she smoked too much and had part of her larynx removed.  God, her voice is ugly.  ..........Maya sounds different than she does in IS.  Younger, I guess.  I don't mind, but I   have to admit that her "damaged" voice in IS was much more entertaining.   Muu......Katsuya's voice is cool, though.  I like it much better than his English voice! ^_____^

    Baofu....who cares about him?  I don't! ^_^

 

8/16/02

    Oohhhhh...........I haven't written in this thing for a while.  I know I really should ^_____^, so here goes!

    How can I recap the past few months?  I don't think I can, so let's just skip to the here and now.  Okay.  What's been catching my attention lately? Suikoden 3, Suikoden 3, Suikoden 3..........It came out in Japan last month for the PS2, and I think its US release date is in early November.  I'm going to have to get a PS2 for Christmas in order to play it!  I admit, I can be pretty bad with spoilers, and considering Luc's role in the game, I've been checking the message boards several times a day for the past few weeks.  ^_^;.......all I can say is, poor Luc, and "LET'S POSITIVE THINKING!"

    It's been murderously hot lately!  I know it's August, but jeez!  I can't stand the way the Weather Channel always acts like every heat wave and thunderstorm is "the worst in almost a century."  As far as I can remember, the weather sucked last year, too! *_*

    "Let's positive thinking....."

    I worked halfway through Tales of Destiny and stopped.   I'm not sure when I'll pick it up again.  That game just isn't doing anything for me....the gameplay is clunky, and few of the characters actually have personalities.   Oh well....I picked up FF6 to break the monotony.  Ah, the memories I have of that game....Kristen finished FF5 last week.  She says it sucked.  I believe her n_n.  It seemed to be a step down from FF4.  It was too bad.

    She also finished Persona 2: Innocent Sin last week.   Now she wants the Japanese version of Eternal Punishment.  I don't blame her!   If my Japanese were better, I would've bought the import right away.  I know it sounds snobbish, but the English voices really do detract from the game.  I hated having to turn the volume down whenever the characters started talking!     In IS, Maya sure had a weird-sounding voice!  I hear it sounds a little different in EP, even though she has the same voice actress.  Tatsuya was Koyasu.  I don't like Koyasu, but then again, I don't like Tatsuya, either!  In the English version of EP, he had a pretty high-pitched voice.  I know that it's going to sound odd with him spouting those angsty lines with such a deep voice, but....if he has "born" that way, he should stay that way! @_@

    Some have argued that the cast in IS was better than the cast in EP, but I don't know.  Being an adult in my early twenties, I was growing tired of having to use nothing but high school students all the time!  In IS, I had the impression that the characters were just kind of.....slapped together with too many quirks.  I guess that when you're a teenager, you're allowed to be more quirky, but I sometimes had a hard time believing that people like them could actually exist.  Lisa was a problem for me.  I didn't dislike her, but she was just so......odd!   (Well, I did find her battle screeches pretty funny!)  Maya was a puzzle for me, too, even though she was the adult of the group.  Here we have this "grown-up, sexy woman" with an appropriately husky voice who acts like she's retarded, has hearts on her breasts and alternates between being a trigger-happy psycho and mother to the entire world.  And by the end, she's supposed to be the love interest?  ......The one everyone loves and wants to protect?  The damsel in distress?  Don't get me wrong, I do like Maya, but I have to wonder whether someone would start to find her annoying after a while.....

    Eh heh heh...maybe it seems weird because her voice is so deep.....^_^;........and granted, she does look younger  in EP, but she still looks pretty old....

    And oh my Gawd, Katsuya looked awful in Innocent Sin!!!!!

    All in all, I think that IS is an important part of the series, and you do need to play it in order to understand EP, but gameplay-wise.....and character-wise.....EP gives you more "bang for your buck."  Or maybe I just think that way because I want to use Katsuya ^_^!

3/4/02

    What a boring week! *_*  I can't remember a single thing that happened to me.  Oh yeah, the weather's cold again.  I've been doing a lot of cleaning around the house, sneezing on a lot of dust.  I dragged out my old Super Nintendo for the sole purpose of playing Secret of Mana, but I can only find one controller.  Damm!  =_=.....Back when the game was first released, Kristen and I played it together, with her as the main character and me as the Sprite.  If I can't use the Sprite as my primary character I'm going to scream!  Two player RPGs are so uncommon, it wouldn't be the same if I did it alone.

    I couldn't find many games, either.  I did manage to locate Arcana, Actraiser, Super Mario RPG and....::gasp:: Final Fantasy Mystic Quest! Woo hoo!  I'm playing Super Mario RPG, Kristen already beat Arcana.  She's been playing FFMQ on the side. She says it sucks.  I remember it being pretty lame, but at least it has nice music ^___^!

    I don't know what to think of Actraiser, now.  It's very stressful to be working diligently on restoring moisture to desert lands while seeing your people being dragged off by giant bats out of the corner of your eye.  ;_;.....I really want to play Earthbound.  I'm still into SMRPG, but I'm stuck in this white field with lots of lizards.....;_;.....

    I got the soundtrack to Legend of Mana this weekend.  I really didn't want to spend any more money, but I was afraid of it going out of print.  I didn't want to have to buy an SM CD *_*.....so I ordered mine from CD Japan.  It's a very nice CD set, even nicer than the Chrono Cross one, in my opinion. ^____^ 

    Whenever I buy a soundtrack CD, I always end up liking the instrumental tracks much better than the vocal ones.  They seem more emotional, somehow.....

   

2/16/02

    Hunh.......

    My Geocities Statistics report says that people have been coming to this page, so I'd better write something nice ^____^.

    It's warm today, 55 degrees.  The daffodils are coming up!  ^o^  We got some seeds in the mail this week: cilantro, parsley, basil, morning glories, moon flowers, and some other things....The hibiscus on the porch is already blooming.  But it's only February!

    I got lots of Psychic Force doujinshi earlier this week (or was it the week before that?)  I think the mailman thinks I'm crazy.  He asked me if I'm an international merchant O_o.....no, just a spendthrift.  I hope he's not reporting me to the FBI! 

    The doujinshi was.....eehhhh.....the Burngs were almost entirely Wendy.  I swear, the author cut Brad's part down to nil because he wanted to spend more time drawing Wendy's cleavage. O_o....She's supposed to be flat-chested, but by the near-end of the series she looked like she was wearing an inflatable bra!   -_-;;.....well, in the first book, I liked Brad's outfit, even if he made lots of funny faces.  Nice shoes, too.  They looked like the Azone wing-tip shoes. ^___^   I wonder if I should find him some small feet and buy him a pair? 

    ;_;....Still, it wasn't what I expected.  The other doujinshi was cute, though, and I got a Burn key-chain. ^^;;....(Don't like Burn much, but the whole lot cost me 700 yen, so I can't complain).

    I've been playing Final Fantasy Tactics again.  I just got Mustadio as a permanent member of my party, so I'm happy happy ^_^.   I love my female ninja!  I'm not sure if I'm supposed to have one so early in the game, but she's very useful.  I'm falling into the same habits I had when I first played this game.  Female ninja, male monk, Ramza, Mustadio....except this time my ninja's Diana and last time it was Lavian.  Just to prove my devotion, I'd like to make a doll of the female ninja.  Add it to the list.  I have too many plans. @_@

   

2/06/02

    Muuuuu..........

    The mail just came, but I don't feel like getting it.   I'm afraid my credit card bill's going to be in there.  Monthly bills are always scary.......

    The weather's screwed up.  We were supposed to get a huge snowstorm earlier this week, but it all turned to rain.  Rain's good, I suppose ^___^.  We don't want to have a drought again, do we? 

    My first (and probably only) Shaman King DVD came in this week.  I finally got to see Faust animated! ......O_o....Well, he was Koyasu with a bad German accent.  Is this what it sounds like when gaijin speak Japanese?  How awful! I never sounded like that.....-_-;;........  I guess it couldn't be helped, though, because in the manga most of his dialogue was written in katakana (which means that he had an accent) But......O_o.....I was happy to see him and all, and he didn't look that bad, but Shaman King is not a good anime!  Faust's first appearance in the manga was much better.  The manga as a whole is much better, but isn't that usually the case?  Manta's voice was horrible, Anna's voice was horrible, and everyone did nothing but scream for four episodes.......O_o......but why am I writing about this?   Has anyone ever even heard of this series?

    Don't I ever like anything ;_;....?......I can be so cynical sometimes......

    I like Shamanic Princess ^-^!

1/18/02

    Pretty cold.....9_9.....

    I'm gonna get sushi tomorrow!  Mom promised!   She's probably going to try to back out of it, because it's too out of her way and $30 is a lot to spend on food for two people.....but she owes us, big time.  We made dinner every night this week, and it wasn't easy!  It's been 7 weeks since I last had it....I can't stop thinking about it! I want eel and salmon and......whine whine whine.......

    I'm stuck in Persona 2, big time.  I'm in the Science Lab, or something like that ^^;;.....I keep going around in circles.  I have made some nice personas, though.....n_n...

    Now, don't laugh, but I've been reading the Chronicles of Narnia.  I tried to read them when I was younger, but I thought they were too stuffy....now, I really like them.  That scene in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader when Eustace turns into a dragon and Aslan rips his skin off to restore him to human form is pretty damm disgusting,though!  Heh heh heh....I like literature that doesn't pull its punches. ^^    For a while, there, I was reading Anne Rice's The Witching Hour.  Out of sheer boredom.  That book is utter crap.  All her books are utter crap.  I can't stand people who use writing as nothing more than an outlet for their sexual fantasies.  Her "excessive" writing is what got people yelled at in my creative writing classes.  I admit, I used to be like that.   I used to love "beautiful" words and fill my stories with page after page of description.  But I stopped when I was 16.  If you like to read sensual, spiritual literature you should try reading Isabel Allende.  Anything but Anne Rice, please! O_O  Enough with the rape fantasies, already!

1/10/02

    ^^......

    It snowed this week ^_^.  It was pretty!  It was nothing catastrophic, though.  I had a dream that the flowers started blooming in winter.  Is the world going to end?  Has it really been unseasonably warm so far, or do I just have the heat cranked up too high?  ^o^

    I have no money.  Just the same, I bid on and won Burngs 1, 2, 5 and 6 on Yahoo!Japan, along with some assorted PF doujinshi crap I'm probably going to wind up selling.  It was the chance of a lifetime!  I won a set of 10 doujinshi for 720 yen.  That's under seven US dollars.  ^^;;....That's the glory of liking a series no one else likes ^^!

    Um......dinner was weird tonight.  Kristen made some kind of Indian chickpea stew, which I liked a lot, but there were also these bratwurst Mom made that tasted like giant Brown & Serve sausages......O_O.....they were so greasy I thought I was going to puke.  Never again!  Mom didn't like them either, and Kristen refused to eat them, but after Dad finished his first he said "These are very lean, aren't they?" Even though they oozed yellow oil when we cut them.   Ugh.....I hate sausage.  On the lighter side of food, we had a beef tenderloin for New Year's and it was the best  red meat I've ever eaten ~_~.  It was a forty dollar piece of meat, but it was worth it.  Try it some time!  :D

    I made some throw pillows!  Grandma gave me the idea when we went over her house on Christmas Eve.  She wanted me to use placemats, but I have so much fabric that I wanted to find something softer.  I made one out of light blue corduroy, one out of pink poplin (with mint green lace trim) and one out of a really pretty cotton print.  ^^

  1/1/02

    Happy New Year ^_^!

    It's been pretty cold lately.  I've been trying to keep warm by drinking  hot water with lemon.  I heard somewhere that it's supposed to improve your skin-tone, but I wonder if it's wearing the enamel off my teeth ^__^?

    New Year's Eve was pretty uneventful.  I just sat on my bum and played Persona 2 the whole time ^O^!  I did eat some roasted chestnuts at one point, and toasted the New Year with...tea. 6_6  I have no regrets!  The holidays have exhausted me.  I just want to flop out and ignore the world.....(too bad, because my New Year's resolution is to get more exercise).  I just want to be stronger.....;_;....

    I like that game a lot! ^^  It's pretty hard, though.   I'm ticked off that they never released Innocent Sin in the U.S.  Kristen has the import version, but she hasn't worked up the nerve to play it.

    I like Katsuya a lot ^^!  He's so lame, and he looks like he's straight out of a cop show from the '70s.  ^o^

12/24/01

    It's 1 am.....n_n.....

    What happened to me this week?  I got my new Psychic Force doujinshi ^o^!  It had enough Brad in it, but he was behaving very distastefully ^^;;......not all the time, though.  Most of the gross things had to do with Wong.

    I'm going to have to bake some cookies tomorrow.  I don't know if I have to bring them to my grandmother's, or what.  I bought some doll-related things today: machine needles, adhesive velcro for attaching Rio's wig whenever she shows up, doll stands, a few miniature potted plants for Brad to play with ^^.....

    I've ordered so much doll-customizing material over the past week it isn't even funny!  I also put in preorders for a Takara-bako Rie and a Thanks Fair 8 Abel(with pink hair!)  I've received a confirmation for the Rie but not for the Abel.  I hope her order goes through....she looks so much like that Takara-bako Pink Abel I've always wanted, and if I can't get her I think I'll cry....;_;....

12/15/01

    Ten days till Christmas.....none of my stuff has come in.   I think I'm gonna cry ;_;...

    It snowed a little last week.  Yesterday it rained a lot.  I wonder if this is what our winter is going to be like?  O_o

    We put up the Christmas tree today.  Actually, I did most of the decorating.  It's weird....when I was younger we all fought over the ornaments and got all excited about putting up the tree and now....I just strung up everything while everyone else in the house sat around and watched TV.   ^^;;;;

    I want to see some more lights!  The house across the street is nicely lit up, but it's all white. 

    On the lighter side of things (bad pun, I know ^^;) I won a Psychic Force doujinshi on eBay for 8 dollars.  Who cares, you say?  I CARE!   And there better not be any of that Burn and Wendy crap!  I'd like to send those two in a rocket straight into the sun.  They can stick Wong, Keith, Genma and Gates (maybe Sonia too) in there too.  Along with all the new characters from Psychic Force 2012.  I don't even know why I like that series. ::sighs angrily::  All that pseudo angst.  And the only characters with real problems get kicked out to make room for fan service. 

    ^^;;;

    I think I gave myself food poisoning.  I know, I was stupid. I made apple cake two days ago and started eating the batter....O_o....there were two raw eggs in there, but it was so good!  All that butter and sugar and cream cheese....^o^....the cake was fantastic, too.  But now it's all gone....sniff....I'd do it again if I had the chance!

12/05/01

    My tummy hurts >_< !  Don't ask me why.   It's been bothering me for days....

    Last week, we went to downtown New Haven to see some Christmas Fair that wasn't there.  I ate a tuna melt, bought a necklace, went to the Gap and bought a sweater that makes me look fat ^^;;;,......then I went to an Asian market and bought a box of Golden Curry, some strawberry Pocky, and some of  those gummy candies with the funny Engrish sayings on them ^____^.....Oh, and a box of Swedish fish.   The red ones are my favorite.  Did you know that those candies have wax in them?  I guess it gives them a special flavor. ^o^

    Dum dum dum......my brother has a cold.  I hope it's not anthrax!  Of all the mail sorters in the country, why did they have to find traces of anthrax in Wallingford, the one that sorts MY mail??? 6_6.....They say it's no big deal, but.....I don't smell my mail.  I'm a strong, healthy girl.  There's no way I'm getting anthrax.  My body is rejecting it as I type. 

    Big news!  I got my hair cut.  I guess it's stupid to mention that, but my hairdresser took off 5 inches....^^;;....I didn't know I even had that much hair to lose!

    I had to watch that Martha Stewart special last night ^__^;;;.....that woman is a riot.  I can't believe she told the one-eyed glass blower "I love long icicles!"  (Shouldn't have that been censored?) The glass sculptures were beautiful, though.  I wouldn't mind taking that on as a hobby!

   

11/27/01

    It's 3:30 in the morning......

    It's almost December, so why hasn't it snowed yet?   We're going to be in for a nasty drought next spring.  Then again, isn't there always a drought @_@?

    Thanksgiving was okay.  I found out that I don't like pie much, and Dad tried out this nasty recipe for root vegetables....Mom put way too much sausage in the stuffing, but the turkey was good, the turkey was good, the turkey was good ^___^......I usually don't like turkey at all.  That new oven must have paid for itself already ^^....

    I finally broke down and stole Final Fantasy Anthology from my brother's room.  I really, really hope he doesn't notice it's missing! >_<......I would've asked him for it straight out, but he's never in a good mood.   Plus, we don't see each other much...

    And, at the same time, I'm playing Tales of Destiny.  I never liked to limit myself to one activity at a time ^^...

    The bushes with the little yellow flowers on them around the front of the house have been completely fried by the frost.  They're black ^___^!   They look like they're growing on the moon....tee hee ^-^....

11/18/01

    I finished Legend of Mana.  The ending sucked. @_@.....Oh well, I'm planning on running through it again...I don't play games for their endings any more!

    I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week!  Where is the time going?  I haven't done any planning at all.  I don't think anyone's coming up, but just the same, cooking a large meal for six people is still pretty taxing.  

    I wouldn't have it any other way, though ^____^.   What's the point of a holiday if you don't exert tons of energy getting ready for it?  I just hope that we don't have to drink anything funny-tasting.  That can really ruin a meal ^^;;....what beverages can I tolerate, anyway?   Um....tea....water....ginger ale....orange juice....cranberry juice....some kinds of sparkling juice.....I think that's it. I don't even know what cola is any more. It's like regular-flavored bubblegum.  What is it supposed to taste like?

    I almost broke my tooth on a random kalamata olive pit piece a few days ago.  I think I'm okay, though.  Thank God for fluoride ^^!

11/03/01

    ^o^

    I'm still playing Legend of Mana.  I'm really enjoying it, but it gives me a headache sometimes....;_;....too many bright backgrounds!  But it's nice, just the same.  I haven't been able to sight-see in a video game for the longest time.  ^^;;

    I have to wonder, though...why is it that the male main character in that game is so ugly?  I'm using the girl, but I like guys, and would be using the guy if he didn't have an Afro and weren't wearing a sports bra O_o.....

    I like picking fruit.  I have a pet Rabite and a Mushboom and a cute little lizard that keeps getting killed ^_^;;....

    Umm.....anything else?  Oh yeah, it's the first week of November but it's pretty warm outside.  Does anyone else consider 73 degrees warm?   Lots of squeaky birdies and loud planes outside.  The planes seem unnaturally loud to me and sometimes I have to keep myself from panicking when I hear them ^_^;;.....everyone says they were always that loud, but I wonder......

   

10/28/01

    When do we get to turn the clocks back?

    This week was kind of bland.  It started out warm, and ended freezing.  I guess that's October for ya ^_^;;.....

    What happened this week?  We planted a flowering quince in the front yard.  I took lots of pictures that I wish I could show to people but I know that no one's interested ^__^...Autumn is always so pretty around here.  Dad finally found out that I have a digital camera (I've had it for a year, it was a Christmas present, and Mom asked me not to let him see it only because he can't stand to see me or anyone but him get anything unusual).  He was not pleased.  It's not like it's a great camera ^_^;;;.....pretty crappy, actually.....

    Muu......I made Vidalia Onion Risotto tonight.  It took me a while, and we ended up eating at 9 pm, but it was so good....^_^....I could really use some now!  It was so warm and creamy and such a lovely light-orange color....^o^

    Stop it, you freak!  *_*  This is what it sounds like when a really picky eater finds something she likes.  I swear, I haven't had a decent meal in ages.  And I can't stand junk food and don't really like sweets, so I just....starve. ^_^;;....but I'm going to try to make some good stuff this week, like Spinach Lasagna and Cassoulet.  I think I can make that risotto again ^^;;;.....I know, I have gourmet tastes ^^;;.....I spend a lot of time fantasizing about food!

10/19/01

    Has it really been a week O_O?

    This week started out all right, but ended on an extraordinarily crappy note.  I was checking over my credit card statement yesterday, and I saw, to my horror, that a $75 purchase had been made on 9/08 to a shop in Moscow.   Russia.  The charge was in rubles!  My first reaction was panic.   When would I ever buy something from Russia?  I kept thinking over and over that it was no big deal, that maybe I had ordered something from a company not knowing that it was in Russia, but come on!  Russia?  So, on Kristen's insistence, I didn't waste another moment in calling my credit card company to refute the charges.   The girl on the other end told me that a purchase of the same amount had been made from the same company earlier this month.  She said that if it had been just one time, she would've told me not to worry, but since it had happened twice....it seemed pretty fishy.  Did I have any reason to believe my card had been compromised?   No, I told her.  I've always had it with me.  And all the online shops I order from have secure servers.  Unless.....

    To make a long story short, I had to close my account and take out a new card.  Even though no one had access to my card and I destroyed any slip of paper with my information on it, I had to report it as stolen.  The charges have been removed, as far as I know. My educated guess is that a Russian hacker must've stolen my credit card number from Amazon.com, because I heard that they've had a lot of problems with hackers lately.....it sounds far-fetched but likely.  The next time this person tries to use my number, they're going to be in for a big surprise!  The moral of today's story is: always check your credit card statements thoroughly!

    I hate hackers.  I've always hated hackers.  This event has only reinforced my feelings.  They're nothing but a bunch of cowardly idiots with no lives.  What's so cool about hurting people and hiding behind your computer instead of taking responsibility for your actions?  They're the same kind of people behind all the anthrax hoaxes of late.  These people strike out against "authority" and "the government" but have no idea how the world works.   If they did they'd choose a more legitimate form of social protest than a "hit and run."  Yeah, instead of dedicating my time and money  to helping people I think the government mistreats, why don't I blow up a building instead?

10/15/01

    Yesterday was my birthday ^o^....as you can tell from the sizeable addition to this site.  Oh, don't look at me like that! >_<  I feel bad enough already for spending that much money.  I just was so determined to make this year's birthday better than the last...^^....last year at this time I was sick with a sinus infection.  I didn't sleep for an entire month....;_;.....no one did anything for my birthday and I didn't even have a cake...;_;....so come on, I think I deserve this!

    I'm drinking jasmine tea.  It smells like a florist shop...^^ 

    What did I get for my birthday? ^^  Yeah, I bought all my presents myself over the course of 6 months.  All except for Rei (Kristen gave her to me) and pajamas from my mother.  How sad is that?  I guess it can't be helped...when you get to this age, no one's going to throw you a party.  Everyone's just so busy with their own lives...and after all the awful things that have happened I didn't want to tell anyone until after the fact.  But it wasn't so bad ^__^.  I did get a cake! ^_^  It was a carrot cake from a bakery.  I swear, it was 75% frosting ^^...

    I got Kristen Margaret for her birthday.  So don't think I didn't buy her anything *_*!

    ^o^......I'm listening to the Chrono Cross soundtrack.   No bootlegs for me!  I ordered it from CD Japan.  The first two CDs are...eh.....but the third one is pretty good.  I really like track 7.  I'm not sure where I heard it, though.  Maybe if I listen to the CD set long enough, I can fool myself into thinking I actually beat the game ^^...

    Big thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday ^o^!   You know who you are.  And to those who didn't...it's okay, I really don't mind *^___^*.....I'm just glad we're all okay.  Sometimes I find it really hard to just smile and live life from day to day....but that's what we all have to do, right?   I just heard about that poor baby that contracted cutaneous anthrax...;_;...they say he's going to be okay...I really hope he is....

10/08/01

    I'm just getting over a rotten cold that kept me incapacitated for days.  It was a rotten experience I'd prefer not to repeat any time in the near future.  I caught it picking up my brother's soggy laundry that he always leaves in the bathroom before he goes to class.  Maybe I should've left it there, but it was just so disgusting....-_-;;;...

    Eh heheh....it's Columbus Day.  Mom has been in the kitchen all day baking.  She does that every holiday....runs herself into the ground making unnecessary treats and then staggers around complaining like we forced her to do it.  Cranberry bread, apple pie, broccoli rabe....well, tomorrow is her birthday, and she's going to be 50. ^o^....I admit she doesn't look a day over 35.    It must be good genes...^^;;;....see, that's what happens when you stay out of the sun, kids!  

    And then my birthday is on the 14th.  I don't wanna have a birthday, don't wanna age any more!!! ;_;....

    I've been practically tearing my hair out waiting to find out who's playing Faust in the Shaman King anime.  He's going to be in the episode on Oct. 10.  And he's going to be played by Koyasu....

     O_o.....but I'm not a Koyasu fan! I'm sick of looking at Koyasu!  I guess it could be worse....Zechs was okay, and so was Touga. I'm sure that they'll take him seriously if he's played by a "veteran" voice actor.   I'm not sure if it bothers me because I don't like his voice or because he's just ::everywhere::...I wonder if it's appropriate?  Faust is so child-like and innocent....;_;....Koyasu better do a good job, or I'm going to cry!   

9/30/01

    It's very cold today.  My nose is running like a faucet n_n.....must be allergy season again!

    Not much of anything going on lately....Kristen and I have been playing Legend of Mana, which we stole from our brothers long ago but never got around to trying.  I didn't like the character designs at first, but it's a very fun game.  ^_^  It's a bit unconventional, but I love the main character's house (especially the bed built into the wall) and the little cactus. ^^.....It's inspiring me to do chores, so I guess it's a good thing ^^!

    It reminds me of my lifelong dream to have a secret room in my closet.  Sometimes I wonder if I kept dreaming about this room as a kid because I never had any privacy....or maybe it's because I've always envied talented, theatrical people and am fascinated by what goes on backstage.  I've always loved art classes and have wanted so much to be accepted as a "creative"person.  Sometimes it all feels so flat.

    It's just a title, isn't it?  I take what I do very seriously but I can't call myself an artist or a writer.  These are just things I like to do....even if no one ever notices what I do, I'm going to keep on doing it because it's what I enjoy.  That doesn't mean that I won't accept advice or criticism.....I just can't take myself that seriously. 

    I knew so many people in high school who were so obsessed with their quirky, artistic images, that they refused to accept the ideas of anyone they considered "normal."  They formed a clique of outcasts that  I never could find a place in.  I was always too weird and quiet for the "in crowd" and too "normal" for the "alternative" crowd.  Even when people from the "artsy" crowd told me that I belonged with them, I couldn't believe it, because I didn't  see why we needed to be at war with the outside world.  Some of the "jocks" were nice...some of them weren't.  Same with the "goths."  Looking back, I kind of feel sorry for the people who picked on me in junior high and high school....I can't take full responsibility for those situations, but I can only imagine how hard it must've been to deal with someone as shy and fragile as I was.  Still am.   I came so close to connecting to some of them a couple times, but I always pulled back because I was afraid of being swallowed up in their "world."

9/22/01

    I wonder....is everything returning to normal?   Probably not, but I think the hysteria is passing.  It's becoming hard to find substantial news about our "war."  I've made a promise to myself not to look at anything that doesn't pop out at me.  I can't mull over this forever, worrying about everything from nuclear meltdowns to biological warfare....

    I baked an apple cake the day before yesterday.  It went pretty fast ^^;;...I'm sure Kristen and I ate most of it, though.  I wish I could make another one, but Mom seems dead-set on making an apple pie....but she's made that enough, already!  Whenever she bakes anything, she always makes sure the boys and Dad can have at least two servings, even if it means that Kristen and I have to split a piece....-__-;;.....it's not fair... =_=;;;......whenever I cook I make sure everyone gets their fair share!

    I know I'm whining...;_;....but I've been hungry a lot lately...;_;....we have food, but whenever I eat something I end up getting yelled at for taking something that was meant for someone else...Mom just assumes that because I'm female I'm supposed to eat like a bird and sacrifice everything for men.  It's ridiculous because I don't have a big appetite, and neither does Kristen.  I just don't think that we should be expected to split a normal serving two ways.  Just because we're twins!  It's always been like this.....it doesn't affect us that much now because we're adults and can feed ourselves, but whenever Mom decides to "treat" us we get enough food to feed a kitten.  Yeah, sure, it's cheaper that way, but if she's so concerned about money she should stop giving Dad and the boys elephant-sized portions!

    Koo hoo hoo.....^_^......There are a lot of colored leaves flying around.  On the lawn.  None of ours have changed yet, though.....

    I've picked up Chrono Trigger again.  I asked Bryan if I could use his Playstation, because the motor on mine is having some...problems...I think it may have been refurbished.  I guess the problem hadn't been fixed...;_;....I'm at the Ocean Palace now. ^^  I think I'd like to make a doll of Schala one of these days...I don't like Akira Toriyama's character designs, but she's still quite pretty and an interesting figure.  I always get nervous when I try to make a character doll, but I guess I should just consider it a creative exercise.  I'm sure I can handle the outfit >_<!  At the same time, Kristen's playing Final Fantasy 4.  There are some interesting-looking enemies in that game...

9/14/01

    I know, I can't believe I haven't posted an entry about the World Trade Center and Pentagon disasters.....but life lately has been so saturated with what's going on that I can't think about it here.  It's not that I don't want to care.  I will always care--I just feel that if I let myself, I could obsess about it to the point where I couldn't function any more.  And as an American who hasn't lost anyone in the terrorist attacks, I really don't think I have the right.  The best I can do is try to keep myself and others in good spirits, right?

    ....Anyway, I went apple picking today ^__^.  I didn't get to do it last year, because of my sinus infection, so it was nice....Mom, Kristen and I picked Macouns for eating, Cortlands for applesauce, and Macintoshes for apple pie ^_^.   It was a pretty day, somewhere in the mid-70s, with cosmos and black-eyed susans blooming right alongside the pumpkin vines...^^;;.....I love cosmos.  It's my birthflower, but up until two years ago I didn't even know what it looked like!   There were pink cosmos at Hickory Hill, and two cute brown horses that couldn't have been more than a year old ^_^. 

    They had strawberry jasmine tea in the "harvest house," but I didn't buy it because we already had a ton of apples to haul over to the counter.  I ate one Cortland while we were picking, and two and half Macouns since then.  I'm trying to make up for all the apples I missed last year, I guess ^o^!

    Our neighbor's cat was doing some kind of seductive crawl across the lawn a little while ago trying to pounce on a poor unsuspecting birdie.   The birdie got away, though.  I tried to intervene, but I guess it didn't need my help...^^;;;....That cat is seriously starting to get on my nerves >_<!   Last week I caught it on the deck when I was trying to water the hibiscus and the @#$#! thing would not move.  It just sat there, staring at me with baleful eyes.   And I'm like "Get out, you're not my cat and you don't live here!" 

    It's not that I don't like cats.  I'm just sick and tired of that thing using our yard as its own personal hunting ground.   -__-;;;.....The little finches and chipmunks that live around here are my friends! ;_; Plus, the cat pees on my plants and kills them.  Every year.  And it fights with other cats and does you-know-what with other cats in my yard, crushing all my flowers and freaking me out in the middle of the night. 

    ^__^;;;;

   

9/7/01

   Okay....I promised I'd write in this thing once a week, and I'm a day early, but....^___^...

    I finally finished Rue's quest in Threads of Fate.  I guess my Playstation just needed to rest.  Anyway....I really don't like that guy. -_-;;;.......really, Rue is nothing but a self-absorbed angst bomb.  I don't care if he's supposed to be cute or tragic or deep...at what point does this guy ever think about anything besides "I wanna save Claire!".....?  He needs to be smacked upside the head.  Mint may have been childish, but at least she cared about Prima Doll and Maya and all the others, on a more visible level O_O...  Plus, she was a lot more fun to control.  Yeah, I love turning into a slow-moving, fire-breathing lizard *_*!

    I cooked dinner every night this week.  We didn't have any disasters, but I really want to take a break ;_;!  Is it time to have sushi again yet?  I really want sushi.....;_;...especially salmon and eel. 

    There's a tree across the street with some leaves at the top that are turning orange. n_n...That's neat.  ^_^  It was pretty warm today, though...in the mid-eighties.  It's not supposed to do that any more!  Our tomato plants are covered with tiny green tomato-lets.  When are they ever going to ripen?  I think we're going to have to plant them somewhere else next year. 

    I found out recently that one of my neighbors, whom I haven't seen for a while, has Alzheimer's and has been in a nursing home for over a year.  That's so sad.....I remember how we used to get each other's mail by accident, and how much he worked in his yard every day...turns out he was diagnosed right after he retired.   His wife has heart problems, so when we started seeing a lot of cars in their driveway we assumed something had happened to her....what an awful thing to happen.   I don't know either of them well, but still.....where the hell have I been?

9/01/01

    Life....it's the first day of September.  It's pretty warm outside, but not too bad.  The crickets are going nuts today.  One of them practically bounced off my shoe when I went out to check on the tomatoes.   O_o.....Cicadas are really loud, too.  God, I hate cicadas!  But it's okay ^___^;;;.......everything's becoming autumn-like.  I want to see some pumpkins!

    I've been playing Rue's quest in Threads of Fate.  I think there's something wrong with my Playstation ;_;.....it stops while it's loading practically every five minutes.  It's almost as bad as Chrono Cross >_<!    I wonder if there's something wrong with the motor?  This never happens when I'm playing any game that's not by Square.  Could it be that all my Square RPGs are defective?!  ......I'm going to have to steal Bryan's Playstation when he goes back to school.  I can put it back when I'm done ^___^;;;.......eh.....well.....Prima Doll is cute *^__^*....

    My eyes are itchy >_<.......

    I'm going to do some sewing tonight.  I have to open the Gift Shoppe eventually!  Also, there's an outfit I want to sew for one of my dolls.....but I'm afraid to try it, because Kristen always gets ticked off when I make clothes for Shion ^___^;;.........I can't help it!  I really love her hair. 

8/25/01

    Life.....let's put something in here and make it count!

    Life has been....okay lately ^___^.....not that great because my sinuses have been killing me, but a vague feeling of contentment washes over me several times a day so I guess I can consider myself.....content.  Tea makes me content.   Tea and dolls and books....watching the Weather Channel just to hear the Muzak they play during the local forecast....thinking about the cooler months that are just around the corner.  It's weird ^^......the summer is always this hot, blah expanse and as soon as September rolls around it all changes.  The days become jam-packed with work and planning.  In addition to Halloween (which I don't really like), Thanksgiving and Christmas there's also my older brother's birthday, my mother's birthday and my sister's birthday (which also happens to be mine).  It's all happening so fast.  I can't believe that I'm almost 23 years old!  Then again, my mother's going to turn 50 O_o...

    I don't know what to think any more.  I keep getting older, but have I really grown up at all?  Just last week a lady working in the bakery at Super Stop & Shop gave me a free cookie because I was "a kid." ^___^;;;   It's weird.  When I was really a kid people just @_@-ed at me, like I was this unsightly spore.  And now, ten years later, when I go out with my mother people say "Oh, your daughter is just adorable!".....thinking that I'm 12.  I used to think it was funny, but now....I can't help but wonder why no one believes I'm an adult..^^  Is it something that I'm doing?  Do I carry myself in an immature manner?  Is it because I'm pale and have long hair?  I wear make-up in public.   I pluck my eyebrows.  I shower daily.  So what if I don't have any lines on my face?  Am I supposed to?  Almost all my clothes come from stores that adults shop at.  Well, college students, maybe ^___^;;;.....

    Maybe I should just enjoy it.  I just hope I don't get into a car accident and have my face mangled before I'm 40 years old and really reaping in the benefits!